Case study: Help! My son wants to marry a Buddhist

TL;DR:
In this case study, a Christian mother seeks advice on introducing her son’s fiancée, a young Chinese woman from a Buddhist family, to Jesus. The fiancée has lived in the U.S. for years and enjoys attending church events. However, her father opposes the cross-cultural, interfaith marriage. Discussion questions and an overview of differences between Christianity and Buddhism invite thoughtful consideration of the spiritual, cultural, and family issues involved.

A Christian–Buddhist marriage: A case study

A mother asks for help introducing her son’s Buddhist fiancée to Christianity and navigating cultural and family challenges.
The mother seeks suggestions for printed or video materials that can help introduce Christianity to her future daughter-in-law, who has shown interest in attending church events.
Cultural differences, language proficiency, and parental disapproval complicate the situation.

Seven steps to good case study use

Trying to share Jesus Christ with her son’s Buddhist fiancée

A mother wants to help her son’s fiancée come to know Christ. The young woman comes from a Chinese Buddhist family. The mother emailed me asking for help in bringing her to faith in Jesus.

“I’m not really sure whom to ask or where to go to get the information I need. I’m a Christian mother whose son is marrying a Chinese woman who knows she is a Buddhist because her father told her she was.

“Are there videos or brochures that would help us introduce Jesus to this young lady?

“I’m a public school teacher. My husband is the worship pastor at our church. My son’s fiancée has experienced our church’s big Easter pageant twice. She has expressed a desire to see it even more times.

“The young lady and her family have lived in the U.S. for 15 years. She speaks English fairly well. Her father is against this marriage because it was not arranged by him. He also doesn’t like it because my son is an American of European origin. The parents own a restaurant, and it seems that Jenny is not much more than an employee to them.

“Help me introduce Jesus to this young lady. Can you suggest printed or video material that would help us?”

How would you respond to an email like this?
What needs to be said—and what needs to be heard?
If face-to-face conversations could be arranged:
- If you could meet only with the mother, in what directions would you take the conversation?
- If you could meet only with the son, in what directions would you take the conversation?
- If you could meet only with the fiancée, how would you approach that conversation?
- If you could meet with the mother and son together, how would you approach that conversation?

— Howard Culbertson, hculbert@snu.edu

Differences between Buddhism and Christianity

Buddhism and Christianity are two major world religions. They originated in different parts of the world and have distinct teachings, practices, and beliefs. Some of their differences include:

Founders and origins:
- Christianity is centered on the life and teachings of Jesus Christ and has deep roots in Judaism and its story of God’s covenant with Abraham.
- Buddhism began in India around the sixth or fifth century BC with Siddhartha Gautama, who came to be known as the Buddha.
Concept of God:
- Christianity is a monotheistic religion. Christians believe in one God who created the universe and remains actively involved in human affairs.
- Buddhism is generally described as nontheistic because it does not center on belief in a creator God. Instead, its traditions focus on the Buddha’s teachings and the path to enlightenment.
Salvation and the afterlife:
- Christianity teaches that salvation comes through God’s grace received by faith in Jesus Christ and is accompanied by repentance. Believers look forward to resurrection and eternal life with God.
- In Buddhism, the ultimate goal is to attain nirvana—liberation from the cycle of death and rebirth. Buddhist traditions teach a path toward awakening and liberation from craving and suffering.
Scriptures:
- Christianity’s sacred text is the Bible. It consists of the Old Testament, or Hebrew Scriptures, and the New Testament, which includes accounts of the life and teachings of Jesus Christ.
- Buddhist scriptures vary by tradition. Theravada Buddhism relies primarily on the Pali Canon, or Tipitaka. Mahayana traditions recognize additional sutras, while Tibetan Buddhism has its own extensive canonical collections.
Concept of self:
- Christianity teaches that every person is created by God and has enduring value. Salvation involves a personal relationship with God while also incorporating believers into the Christian community.
- Many Buddhist traditions teach the concept of anatta, or “no-self,” which holds that there is no permanent, unchanging self or soul. What is commonly perceived as the self is instead understood as a collection of constantly changing elements.
Role of rituals and practices:
- Christian practices include prayer, Bible reading, and communal worship. Baptism and Communion are central Christian rites.
- Buddhist practices vary among traditions and may include meditation, chanting, and ethical conduct. These practices may be observed individually or in groups.

Acrostic: Buddhism

B – Balance through the Middle Way
U – Understanding the Four Noble Truths
D – Detachment from craving and desire
D – Discipline through the Eightfold Path
H – Harmony with all living beings
I – Inner peace through meditation and mindfulness
S – Seeing through the illusion of a permanent self
M – Mindful compassion toward all sentient life